Why does the New Italian navy have glass bottom boats? To see the Old Italian Navy!
I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.
You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.
2 Jewish women in New York. One says, "Do you see what's going on in Poland?" The other says, "I live in the back, I don't see anything."
Three weeks ago, she learned how to drive. Last week she learned how to aim it.
"Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears." "Don't answer!"
I was walking down the street, and I found a man's hand in my pocket. I asked, "What do you want?" "A match" "Why didn't you ask me?" "I don't talk to strangers."
The doctor says to the patient, "Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window". "What will that do" asks the patient. The doctor says "I'm mad at my neighbor!".
I see all. I hear all. I know all. And I spend a great deal of time in the bathroom.
We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife.
With the possible exception of clothes, beauty salons and Frank Sinatra, there are few subjects all women agree upon.
People always want to ask me about my drug problem - I never had a drug problem; I had a self-esteem problem!
Celebrity is death - celebrity - that's the worst thing that can happen to an actor.
Our civilization has decided that determining the guilt or innocence of men is a thing too important to be trusted to trained men. When it wants a library catalogued, or the solar system discovered, or any trifle of that kind, it uses up its specialists. But when it wishes anything done which is really serious, it collects twelve of the ordinary men standing round. The same thing was done, if I remember right, by the Founder of Christianity.
For good or evil, a line has been passed in our political history; and something that we have known all our lives is dead. I will take only one example of it: our politicians can no longer be caricatured.
I mean, these good folks are revolutionizing how businesses conduct their business. And, like them, I am very optimistic about our position in the world and about its influence on the United States. We're concerned about the short-term economic news, but long-term I'm optimistic. And so, I hope investors, you know - secondly, I hope investors hold investments for periods of time - that I've always found the best investments are those that you salt away based on economics.
Redefining the role of the United States from enablers to keep the peace to enablers to keep the peace from peacekeepers is going to be an assignment.
I don't think that witchcraft is a religion. I wish the military would rethink this decision.
We're concerned about AIDS inside our White House, make no mistake about it.
Keep good relations with the Grecians.
This case has had full analyzation and has been looked at a lot. I understand the emotionality of death penalty cases.
This may sound a little West Texan to you, but I like it. When I'm talking about.. when I'm talking about myself, and when he's talking about myself, all of us are talking about me.
We don't believe in planners and deciders making the decisions on behalf of Americans.
When I was coming up, it was a dangerous world, and you knew exactly who they were. It was us vs them, and it was clear who them was. Today, we are not so sure who the they are, but we know they're there.
Faith crosses every border and touches every heart in every nation.
