Funny Quotes - Page 296

I know a member of one of New York's first families (first as you drive up Tenth Avenue)

My experience is that people are most likely to listen to reason when in bed.

John you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important, for going down in an elevator one always has that sinking feeling and for all I know you may have this confused with love. If you were going up, it is clearly a case of love at first sight.

My plans are still in embryo, a town on the edge of wishful thinking.

Hail, hail Freedonia, land of the free!

Go, and never darken my towels again

In France, for example, it is not unusual for a husband to have a wife and a mistress. However, if in addition to these two he's also having a fling with a fringe tootsie, both the wife and the mistress are outraged and the combination lover, husband, and cheat may well wind up with a large French bread knife between his ribs.

If you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong.

She is such a scene-stealer. She's got these lashes and big eyes, and when she walks on to the set everybody just says "ooh."

Being seventy is not a sin. It's not a joy, either.

I really think that effective acting has to do literally with the movement of molecules.

I'm not a lesbian, but my girlfriend is.

It was not so very long ago that people thought that semiconductors were part-time orchestra leaders and microchips were very small snack foods.

Obviously, it's a great privilege and pleasure to be here at the Yale Law School Sesquicentennial Convocation. And I defy anyone to say that and chew gum at the same time.

I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators.

I've coined new words, like, misunderstanding and "Hispanically".

I'm also not very analytical. You know I don't spend a lot of time thinking about myself, about why I do things.

We cannot let terrorists hold this nation hostile or hold our allies hostile.

Before you contradict an old man, my fair friend, you should endeavour to understand him.

There are some situations from which one can only escape by acting like a devil or a lunatic.

Tel-Aviv airport is still the only airport in the world where each passenger is met by ten relatives.

I said in my earlier book, and find no reason for retracting my statement, that the famous Jewish sense of humour got lost in transit to Israel.

Humility is one of the most repulsive virtues, nearly always false.

It is often said that the Japanese are extremely clean at home, or inside any house or office, but dirty and untidy outside. 'Go and look at a railway station,' I was told, 'and you'll be horrified.' I went and was horrified; horrified by the cleanliness of the place.

'I don't say a Zionist must be insane,' said President Weizmann, 'but it helps if he is.'