Fun Quotes - Page 221

"More fun than a barrel of monkeys." Has anyone ever stopped to think how cranky, if not downright vicious, a barrelful of monkeys would be, especially once released from the barrel?

Be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one watching you.

Can a woodchuck chuck wood? Because the question is, "how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if," so you haven't established or proved without any shadow of a doubt that a woodchuck could chuck wood. Frankly, I believe that they chew wood. I don't think they can chuck wood at all! I take offense to the whole chucking question.

Mean people are no fun.

Laughter is a holy thing. It is as sacred as music and silence and solemnity, maybe more sacred. Laughter is like a prayer, like a bridge over which creatures tiptoe to meet each other. Laughter is like mercy; it heals. When you can laugh at yourself, you are free.

Do you want a successful career or a close relationship with your family? Both! Do you want a focus on business or have fun and play? Both! Do you want money or meaning in your life? Both! Do you want to earn a fortune or do the work you love? Both! Poor people always choose one, rich people choose both.

If you're not having fun, you're the asshole.

I went to a general store but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.

I like to fill my tub up with water, then turn the shower on and act like I'm in a submarine that's been hit .

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving.

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.

If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?

What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

I believe entertainment can aspire to be art, and can become art, but if you set out to make art you're an idiot.

The lead singer of Creed says he won’t endorse President Obama. Well that settles it -- Obama will not win the 1998 presidential election.

Is it progress if a cannibal uses a knife and fork?

Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.

My mom always told me if I love what I'm doing and I'm having fun then just continue to do it. But if it's not fun for me anymore and I'm miserable, then I'm going to go back to Texas and quit it all, to be honest.

What we do every St. Patty's day, which is wear green and drink a lot of Guinness. And maybe cry a little bit and laugh, and everyone will have to sing a song. That's how every funeral, christening, and wedding ends up in Ireland. Everyone ends up having to sing a song by the end of it.

If you don't dissagree with me, how will I know I'm right?

An apology for the devil: it must be remembered that we have heard one side of the case. God has written all the books.

Funny you mention my dinner parties when I have just suggested that inviting close friends over to share a meal with candlelight and wine at your table could be a form of religious experience for some people. To me its a form of sacrament.

My photographs are a celebration of life, fun and the beautiful. They are a world that doesn't exist. A fantasy. Freedom is real. There are no rules. The life I wish I was living.

Kids did really well in their A levels, how do we respond? 'A Levels are getting easier, in my day you had to do fifty questions in a minute, if you got one wrong, they killed your dad!