Fun Quotes - Page 218

I am often dishonest in my techniques ... I happily admit to cheating, it's all part of the game. I hope some of the fun for the viewer comes from not knowing what's real and what isn't

Work is fun to me. All those years of being an actor and a director and not being able to get a job - two weeks is too long to not know what my next job will be.

I am just a middle-class farm boy from Dodge City and my grandparents were wheat farmers. I thought painting, acting, directing and photography were all part of being an artist. I have made my money that way. And I have had some fun. It's not been a bad life.

I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.

When I go to a bar, I don't go looking for a girl who knows the capital of Maine.

Epcot Center also features pavilions built by various foreign nations, where you can experience an extremely realistic simulation of what life in these nations would be like if they consisted almost entirely of restaurants and souvenir stores.

The Japanese eat, sleep, and breathe golf; the only thing they don't do is actually play it, because to get on a course, you have to make a reservation roughly 137 years in advance, which means that by the time you actually get to the first tee you are deceased. Of course, in golf this is not really a handicap.

Sex and murder are the same. Well, you say the same after both don't you? "Damn I got to get the hell out of here!" "What was I thinking!"

I don't count on the boy who waits till October, when it's cool and fun, then decides he wants to play.

I never want to cannibalize my act, and I'm really excited that I am going to be able to perform new material. I'm not a huge fan of repeating jokes, and I don't really do any of my old material from old stand-up acts.

I hope God speaks English. If I get up to heaven and have to point at a menu, I'm gonna be pissed.

Don't you love it when people in school are like, “I'm a bad test taker”? You mean, you're stupid. Oh, you struggle with that part where we find out what you know? Oh. No, no, I can totally relate. See, because I'm a brilliant painter, minus my God-awful brushstrokes. Oh, how the masterpiece is crystal up here, but once paint hits canvas, I develop Parkinson's.

I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect!

Early experience shapes the structure and function of the brain. This reveals the fundamental way in which gene expression is determined by experience.

During job interviews, when they ask: 'What is your worst quality?', I always say: 'Flatulence'. That way I get my own office.

I had someone at the Houston police station shoot me with heroin so I could do a story about it. The experience was a special kind of hell. I came out understanding full well how one could be addicted to 'smack,' and quickly.

If you give a person a fish, they'll fish for a day. But if you train a person to fish, they'll fish for a lifetime.

Make [food] simple and let things taste of what they are.

It cannot be when the root is neglected that what springs from it will be well ordered.

It is not possible for one to teach others who cannot teach his own family.

The scholar does not consider gold and jade to be precious treasures, but loyalty and good faith.

Modeling is about illusion. It's a fantasy world where models play various roles. By featuring extreme looks, magazines show women how to have fun with makeup and clothes, and to inspire them to experiment - just like we did when we were little girls.

Being yourself is fun because you're one of a kind and no one else can be you.

So if you're black or brown, you can make money in America, you can get rich in America... but whatever you decide to do, it better be positive, 'cause if one person is harmed, you will be destroyed. You see Oprah, she just be giving away money. She's doing that to keep the Feds off her back.

There are people who would like to get rid of minimum wage. But we have to have it, because if we didn't some people would not get paid money. They would work all week for two loaves of bread and some Spam.