Fun Quotes - Page 217

Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.

The right to know is like the right to live. It is fundamental and unconditional in its assumption that knowledge, like life, is a desirable thing.

A book is a mirror: if an ape looks into it an apostle is hardly likely to look out.

Love is only chatter, friends are all that matter.

I got off the plane - I was walking and cooking at the same time.

The result is ... that there's no room left in the world for the weird – though plenty for crude, contemptuous, wisecracking, fun-poking imitations of it.

It is not true that the legislator has absolute power over our persons and property. The existence of persons and property preceded the existence of the legislator, and his function is only to guarantee their safety.

I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.

In the event of a cabin failure, oxygen masks will drop from the ceiling, and untangling them will annoy you before you die.

A man goes into Boots and says: "Have you got any Viagra?" "Do you have a prescription?" asks the chemist. "No," he replies, "But 'I've got a photograph of the wife."

I drink no more than a sponge.

Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.

Giving opens the way for receiving.

We cherish our friends not for their ability to amuse us, but for ours to amuse them...

The best time to give advice to your children is while they're still young enough to believe you know what you're talking about.

I go from stool to stool in singles bars hoping to get lucky, but there's never any gum under any of them.

The buffalo is a surprisingly stupid animal.

I was coming home from kindergarten - well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had been working in a factory for ten years. It's good for a kid to know how to make gloves.

There often seems to be a playfulness to wise people, as if either their equanimity has as its source this playfulness or the playfulness flows from equanimity; and they can persuade other people who are in a state of agitation to calm down and smile.

...it's just another one of those things I don't understand: everyone impresses upon you how unique you are, encouraging you to cultivate your individuality while at the same time trying to squish you and everyone else into the same ridiculous mould. It's an artist's right to rebel against the world's stupidity

Did you ever fly a kite in bed? Did you ever walk with ten cats on your head? Did you ever milk this kind of cow? Well, we can do it. We know how. If you never did, you should. These things are fun and fun is good.

Born to be wild - live to outgrow it.

All illegal narcotics are medicinal. Boredom is a disease worse than cancer. Drugs cure it, with little or no side effects if used as directed. Life's temporary for a reason, it gets boring after awhile. You should be inventing new drugs is what you should be doing! Newer, crazier drugs... and more holes, that's what you ladies need!

Every cloud has its silver lining but it is sometimes a little difficult to get it to the mint.

There's one thing about baldness, it's neat.