Last Halloween a kid tried to rip my face off. He thought it was a mask. Now it's different when I open the door the kids hand me candy.
At Christmas time I sat on Santa's lap. His fly was open ! Boy what a present he gave me !
And my girlfriend, she's FAT! How fat? She's so fat she wears two watches-one for each time zone!
I once had a problem ... so I tried group sex. Now I have a new problem - who to thank.
I came from a real tough neighborhood. On my street, the kids take hubcaps - from moving cars.
But there's a bigger trend I'm seeing: people who used to enjoy blogging their lives are now moving to Twitter.
The Stones were nasty and ugly and doing songs I was familiar with.
In this scene, I'm talking about how much I don't like cookies.... I'm sayin', 'Listen, guys. Have you read the book? We're not supposed to be eating.'
Peter [Facinelli] would be so good at doing that. I want him to do the Beyoncé biopic.
What's it like kissing Taylor Lautner.
I had pecs for about two days. Everyone would hate me. Just look at me walking around with my little peacoat on. My little customized pea coat.
So I know where my feet are.
I've got such effeminate hands. I could never be strong. Whenever I even got to a save, my fingers would just bend back and the ball would hit me in the face.
Now listen, guuuyyysss! Come on guys. Let's all, come on, let's be simple about this.
My whole head is like I've had a face lift.
The special effects team designed everything, which basically allowed me to stand on a green box and look and stay relatively expressionless and all these machines did the acting for me. Just the way I like it (laughs)
I'd love to be able to fit in a box. Like one of those people who fit into small boxes. I'd love it.
I wonder if vampire's eyebrows can grow back.
There was one rumor that I saw in a magazine saying I was pregnant. I thought that was brilliant and it still crops up now. But it's definitely not true. I can promise you that.
I had to do two roles in two days, I'm in a hairflux.
This is a good look. I'm gonna mess him up," Pattinson praises Stewart. "And I'm just like, I don't know what's going on? Where am I? I just walked out of a flower bed in this scene as well.... I was standing in the flower bed and then walked out of it and then stopped and looked confused.... If I didn't have contact lenses on, that was a really spectacular look I just did.... I should have had million thoughts, like Hamlet.
I'm really scary in reality. Most of the time.
Looking scary with a baseball outfit on and a little bouffant, you know, it just does not work. Especially with sculpted eyebrows.
I would have taught her a lesÂson she wouldn't forget!
The person who proclaimed me Best Dressed Man never saw me in my sport outfit.
