Funny Quotes - Page 391

You become a better writer by writing. You become a better travel writer by writing about travel.

Before Kady was born, I didn't think having a kid would be such a big deal. My attitude was simple: Babies are nice, play with them, put them in the closet until the next time.

Laughter ispleasant, butthe exertion istoomuchfor me.

I'm always doing what I can to look for and just feel out funny things that are happening in the scene and improvise off of them.

I think all good drama is funny. All the best drama is ultimately very funny. Life is funny. You can't have any honest treatise on life without bumping into some humor.

At the Harvard Business School, I really felt I had gained the ability to resolve difficult issues. But I also felt that I wasn't in the mainstream with my fellow students. During job-hunting season, for example, everybody shaved their beards for interviews. I thought, 'This is crazy.' So I grew a beard.

A poor creature who has said or done nothing worth a serious man taking the trouble of remembering.

A force as of madness in the hands of reason has done all that was ever done in the world.

The dice are stacked against them

The Kappamaki, a whaling research ship, was currently researching the question: How many whales can you catch in one week?

-Oh yes? Can you identify yourself? -Certainly. I'd know me anywhere.

We can't play stupid hockey, dumb hockey, greedy hockey, selfish hockey. We have to put the team ahead of our personal feelings.

Last Christmas someone stole my present. I've spent this year living in the past.

Nuclear war would really set back cable.

I've always enjoyed poor health

Dying men think of funny things-and that's what we all are here, aren't we? Dying men.

Four years ago... no, it was yesterday.

I can't stop thinking like this.

The sky already fell. Now what?

I saw a tree fall in the woods, and I didn't hear it.

I'm moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes...

I was skydiving horizontally.

You know how it is when you go to be the subject of a psychology experiment and nobody else shows up and you think maybe that's part of the experiment? I'm like that all the time.

I put hardwood floors on top of wall-to-wall carpet.

I was going to tape some records onto a cassette, but I got the wires backwards. I erased the all of the records. When I returned them to my friend, he said, "Hey, these records are all blank."