Funny Quotes - Page 389

If there were no God, it would have been necessary to invent him.

The funny thing is that I'm the girl who no one sees at the beach. Ask anyone who's traveled with me. Normally, I'm in so many layers, I look like Lawrence of Arabia!

There are just so many funny kids and teenagers. They're just not aware of how funny they are.

When life gets you down, just remember these three words of wisdom. "Bonk!", "Zap!", and "Yowsers!"

It's funny because I think a lot of it is simply... We've never considered ourselves satirists, but because we're on Comedy Central and because we're South Park on Comedy Central, we can do any topic we want.

No, writing musicals is the hardest thing in the world. And it was really funny, because I remember when the South Park movie came out, there were some critics that said, 'Well it's obvious that in order to get it to be 90 minutes they filled some time with music.'

All the religions are super funny to me.

I can't watch American Idol... it's like karaoke without the booze.

It would be pretty funny to see a Beverly Hills white girl with mad rap skills.

Listen, baby, people do funny things. Specially us. The cards are stacked against us and just trying to stay in the game, stay alive and in the game, makes us do funny things. Things we can't help. Things that make us hurt one another. We don't even know why.

I was glad to see Italy win. All the guys on the team were Italians.

If I don't get at least 1 email in any given hour, I begin to think my friends are conspiring against me.

So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds". I said "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".

So I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?". I said "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".

So I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode. I said "Are you two an item?"

Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.

The funny thing is, Dennis Miller got me back into comedy.

The funny thing is just the collision of genres, taking one medium and trying to ram it into another medium, whether it fits or not.

Well, there's one thing to be said for money. It can make you rich.

Being a musician is a given for me-I didn't have much choice in the matter.

If you play it straight it's funny - the best comedy is always played straight down the middle. The adjustment is understanding from the screenplay that a moment is hilarious.

Your name is a funny thing. It stands for what you're about, and everything I do is really about pride.

How many seconds are there in a year? If I tell you there are 3.155 x 10^7, you won't even try to remember it. On the other hand, who could forget that, to within half a percent, pi seconds is a nanocentury.

I love working with smart-funny people.

The funny thing is, strangers still seem to feel comfortable coming up to me and saying things, but now usually it’s because they recognize me, and they say nice things.