This circuit is interesting because it has inclines and declines. Not just up, but down as well.
The tires are called wets, because they're used in the wet. And these tires are called slicks, because they're very slick.
Let's go and do jihad
...over the past two days, we managed to shoot down 196 missiles before they hit their target.
They are still trying to bomb with artillery and rocket-propelled grenades to hit the Republican Guard who are controlling Saddam International Airport.
Our initial assessment is that they will all die.
We will welcome them with bullets and shoes.
Today, the tide has turned, we are destroying them.
The Cruise missiles do not frighten anyone. We are catching them like fish in a river.
I believe marriage is a relationship between a man and a woman.
I went to a tent store. "What kind of tent do you need?" "Circus."
I tried to have a cookie, and this girl said, "I'm mailing those cookies to my friend." So I couldn't have one. You shouldn't make cookies untouchable.
My lucky number is four billion. That doesn't come in real handy when you're gambling. "Come on, four billion! Darn! Seven. Not even close. I need more dice."
I hate turkeys. If you go to the grocery store, you start to get mad at turkeys. You see turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Somebody just needs to tell the turkeys, "Man, just be yourselves!" I already like you, little fella. I used to draw you. If you had a couple of fingers missing, you would draw a really messed-up turkey. That turkey was in an accident!
One time I was forced to go to the doctors because of a sports accident. Herpes.
I like refried beans. That's why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they're just as good and we're just wasting time. You don't have to fry them again after all.
I had a chicken finger that was so big, it was a chicken hand.
When you're doing a show on stage, and they show you a red light, that means you have 5 minutes left. At some clubs, they hold a candle up in the back. That's the worst method. You're up here, and then you see a floating candle. "Oh, no! This place is haunted!" I can't be funny when I'm frightened.
If my kid couldn't draw I'd make sure that my kitchen magnets didn't work.
I want to be a race car passenger: just a guy who bugs the driver. Say man, can I turn on the radio? You should slow down. Why do we gotta keep going in circles? Can I put my feet out the window? Man, you really like Tide.
I hate flossing, I wish I just had one long curvy tooth. They didn't have to make separations for me.
I like it when you reach into a vending machine to grab your candy bar, and that flap goes up to block you from reaching up? That's a good invention. Before that, it was hard times for the vending machine owners. "Yeah, what candy bar are you getting?" "That one, and every one on the bottom row!"
At my hotel room, my friend came over and asked to use the phone. I said Certainly. He said Do I need to dial 9 I say Yeah. Especially if it's in the number. You can try four and five back to back real quick.
When you're in Hollywood and you're a comedian, everybody wants you to do other things. All right, you're a stand-up comedian, can you write us a script? That's not fair. That's like if I worked hard to become a cook, and I'm a really good cook, they'd say, "OK, you're a cook. Can you farm?"
I was going to get my teeth whitened, but I said, "I'll just get a tan instead."
