Fun Quotes - Page 200

I intend to live forever. So far, so good. - T-SHIRT

I was naive enough to believe it would be enough to replace the government. Well, I made fun of the people in the government and then realized that even if we got rid of them, they were replaced by exactly the same guys.

Don't be concerned about others not appreciating you. Be concerned about your not appreciating others.

The funniest people are the saddest once

At fifteen, my mind was bent on learning. At thirty, I stood firm. At forty, I had no doubts. At fifty, I knew the decrees of Heaven. At sixty, my ear was receptive to truth. At seventy, I could follow my heart's desires without sin.

I am a friend of the working man, and I would rather be his friend, than be one.

And I think that when I play these villains, maybe what is different is that the audience sees me play these and they know that that's Chris and he's having fun and he knows that and he knows that and you know that and everybody knows that.

Karaoke isn't fair when you're a comedian. The whole idea is to get people laughing and enjoying themselves, and I'm a professional funny guy.

A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are.

I like friends as I like music - when I am in the mood.

I often carry things to read so that I will not have to look at the people.

This is hard. This is fun.

The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of 60 minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is.

It was so fun. Being ahead and still being relaxed, we got to chill out.

If God had wanted us to play football in the sky, He'd have put grass up there.

My father only hit me once, but he used a Volvo.

Rock 'n' roll can be fun and dangerous at the same time.

The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present.

There's a phrase we live by in America: "In God We Trust". It's right there where Jesus would want it: on our money.

I love the Pope, I love seeing him in his Pope-Mobile, his three feet of bullet proof plexi-glass. That's faith in action folks! You know he's got God on his side.

Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.

Nobody ever says, "Can I have your beets?

Not so great in England at the moment; in an online poll we came last, we actually came bottom of European countries for quality of life, because of things like the weather, obviously, late retirement, poor holiday, poor public services, poor health service; it's basically just a kind of grey, godless wilderness, full of cold pies and broken dreams.

Condoms should be marked in 3 sizes: jumbo, colossal and super colossal, so that men do not have to go in and ask for the small.

There is a level of cowardice lower than that of the conformist: the fashionable non-conformist.