Fun Quotes - Page 147

Doing something different, doing something original is always fun because there is a lot of creativity that comes with it.

At every party there are two kinds of people - those who want to go home and those who don't. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.

Redemption, n. Deliverance of sinners from the penalty of their sin through their murder of the deity against whom they sinned. The doctrine of Redemption is the fundamental mystery of our holy religions, and whoso believeth in it shall not perish, but have everlasting life in which to try to understand it.

If you can't say anything good about someone, sit right here by me.

The Universal Zulu Nation stands to acknowledge wisdom, understanding, freedom, justice, and equality, peace, unity, love, and having fun, work, overcoming the negative through the positive, science, mathematics, faith, facts, and the wonders of God, whether we call him Allah, Jehovah, Yahweh, or Jah.

Most people's major life changes don't come from reading an article in the newspaper; they come from reading longer-form essays or thoughtful books, which are much more convincing and detailed.

Husbands are like fires - they go out when unattended.

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.

There are a terrible lot of lies going about the world, and the worst of it is that half of them are true.

You've achieved success in your field when you don't know whether what you're doing is work or play.

The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.

I went to the dentist. He said "Say Aaah." I said "Why?" He said "My dog's died."

A policeman stopped me and said: Would you please blow into this bag, sir? I said: What for, officer? He said: My chips are too hot.

Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself.

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.

What is it like to be a bat? What is it like for a bat to be a bat?

I make more mistakes than anyone else I know, and sooner or later, I patent most of them.

I'd rather be strongly wrong than weakly right.

My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.

I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don’t know how I got there.

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask if I'm leaving.

I think the way to become the best is to just have fun.

I wish I were dumber so I could be more certain about my opinions. It looks fun.