Fun Quotes - Page 139

In spite of the great advances which have been made in our knowledge, some fundamental gaps remain. Matter, life and mind still remain utter disparate phenomena, yet the concepts of all three arise in experience; and in the human all three meet and intermingle.

I gambled at the crap table all night and finally lost $8, but during that time the house gave me four drinks and two cigars, so it was still a lot cheaper than renting a room.

Fiction writing is great. You can make up almost anything.

I'm stingy and I'm proud of the reputation.

A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, "Doc, how do I stand?" The doctor says, "That's what puzzles me!"

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

There are ways of dying that don't end in funerals. Types of death you can't smell.

All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it.

Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.

Now there's a man with an open mind - you can feel the breeze from here!

When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.

In all of living, have much fun and laughter. Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured.

I must be getting absent-minded. Whenever I complain that things aren't what they used to be, I always forget to include myself.

We learn from history that we learn nothing from history.

Is man one of God's blunders? Or is God one of man's blunders?

The earth has a skin and that skin has diseases; one of its diseases is called man.

Keep running after a dog and he will never bite you.

I hunted all through the four Gospels trying to find one of Christ's funeral sermons, but I couldn't find any. I found He broke up every funeral He ever attended! Death couldn't exist where He was.

As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.

That Asian guy is really good at kicking. Shocking. Someone is pressing 'A' really fast somewhere.

There exists a shadowy Government with its own Air Force, its own Navy, its own fundraising mechanism, and the ability to pursue its own ideas of the national interest, free from all checks and balances, and free from the law itself.

The perfecting of one's self is the fundamental base of all progress and all moral development.

Heaven means to be one with God.

A man who does not think and plan long ahead will find trouble right at his door.

I try to stick to a vegan diet heavy on fruit and vegetables.