Fun Quotes - Page 330

Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.

Come on in girls, and leave all hope behind.

Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances. (Either that, or my luck's terrible.)

She's so in love with me, she doesn't know anything. That's why she's in love with me.

Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore. I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening. It ruins communication

I love to eat. That's why I got so fat; I love to eat. If I don't walk away from a meal hurting, I didn't do it right. If I don't walk away from Thanksgiving dinner feeling like I've been turkey-f**ked in a gingerbread prison, I didn't do it right.

A young boy shouldn't be given up for hopeless just because he's lazy, surly, and good for nothing. Don't be discouraged by those things - maybe he's just trying to be like his daddy.

I always like a dog so long as he isn't spelled backward.

I don't want people to think that I can't make fun of myself.

What I like about The Sims is that I don't have a normal life at all, so I play this game where these people have these really boring, mundane lives. It's fun.

Don't be overly concerned about your heirs. Usually, unearned funds do them more harm than good.

I promise you I will listen to what has been said here, even though I wasn't here.

In my sentences I go where no man has gone before.

Staff officers of inharmonious disposition, irrespective of their ability, must be removed. A staff cannot function unless it is a united family.

Most people get a fair amount of fun out of their lives, but on balance life is suffering, and only the very young or the very foolish imagine otherwise.

There are many non-intellectual countries; Australia is one of the few anti-intellectual ones.

In Moscow they do not pay much attention to the living but keep their cemeteries in a splendid state.

The poor Americans are so busy defending the rights of Hindus in Pakistan, Moslems in India, Jews in Palestine, Koreans in Japan, Italians in Yugoslavia and Hungarians in Czechoslovakia that they simply cannot give a thought to Negroes in the United States.

We are now the proud owners of a white boy. Now we have to shop in the caucasian isle and get sunscreen, mayonaise and mild salsa because the other ones really hawt!

I can never do nothing in this house!

Directing is really exciting. In the end, it's more fun to be the painter than the paint.

Things I wonder about the FBI's list of the "Ten Most Wanted" criminals: When they catch a guy and he comes off the list, does number eleven automatically move up? And does he see it as a promotion? Does he call his criminal friends and say, "I made it, Bruno. I'm finally on the list"?

It's never just a game when you're winning.

Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?