Fun Quotes - Page 300

It was more fun trying to figure out I Want To Hold Your Hand than to take lessons. By this time I knew basic chords

A guy walks into a pub with a lump of asphalt on His shoulder, He says to the bar man give us a pint and one for the road.

A man walked into the doctor's, The doctor said 'I haven't seen you in a long time' The man replied, 'I know I've been ill'.

Counting in octal is just likst counting in decimal--if you don't use your thumbs.

The manager's function is not to make people work, but to make it possible for people to work.

Obviously, as an adult I realize this girl-on-girl sabotage is the third worst kind of female behavior, right behind saying "like" all the time and leaving your baby in a dumpster.

In a study, scientists report that drinking beer can be good for the liver. I'm sorry, did I say 'scientists'? I meant Irish people.

So I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said "Analogue." I said "No, just a watch."

I'm so lazy I've got a smoke alarm with a snooze button.

Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.

The art of life is the art of avoiding pain.

A book that is shut is but a block.

Thirty millions, mostly fools.

The place of electronic music, culturally and socially, is today completely different - it is now everywhere, and it has been totally accepted. Consequently, there is now a younger generation that is more focused on making great electronic music, good parties, and having fun, where there is not any more so much need for cultural and ideological statements in electronic music itself.

I find my greatest pleasure, and so my reward, in the work that precedes what the world calls success.

The conservation of our natural resources and their proper use constitute the fundamental problem which underlies almost every other problem of our national life.

Ask yourself: Does the job touch my heart and feed my soul? You will never be what you were meant to be if you aren't having fun.

Well, don't expect us to be too impressed. We just saw Finnick Odair in his underwear.

In my opinion, if we have not achieved peace, it is because people forget its most fundamental aspect. Before we talk about peace among nations, we must settle our peace with God.

When I was a child, kids used to make fun of me because I was blind. But I just became more curious, 'How can I climb this tree and get an apple for this girl?' That's what mattered to me.

While I was gone, somebody rearranged on the furniture in my bedroom. They put it in exactly the same place it was. When I told my roommate, he said: "Do I know you?"

What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?

I used to be an airline pilot. I got fired because I kept locking the keys in the plane. They caught me on an 80 foot stepladder with a coat hanger.

I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, 'Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours.' He said, 'Yes, but not in a row.'

Do married people live longer than single people or does it just SEEM longer?