Fun Quotes - Page 281

I sometimes wish that people would put a little more emphasis upon the observance of the law than they do upon its enforcement.

Human beings are like tea-bags. You don't know your own strength until you get into hot water.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we're about to begin boarding. If we could ask for your cooperation, please stay seated until you row has been called." ... That's what they say - but somehow, by the time it comes out of the speaker, it sounds like, "Everybody up and rush the door! Everybody up and try to squeeze your big fat butts in the small gate door area! Immediately! ... Do whatever you have to do to get on board. This is the last helicopter out of Vietnam!"

I saw something in the store the other day that I don't understand: that peanut butter and jelly in the same jar. Is there a point to that? I mean, I'm lazy-but I wanna meet the guy who needs that. Some guy going, "You know, I could go for a sandwich-but, uh, I'm not gonna open two jars. I can't be opening and closing all kinds of jars. Cleaning, who knows how many knives!?"

We meet a lot of people, we drink lots of stuff and have lots of fun

I'm still having fun and as long as skiing is enjoyable, I'm going to continue to do it.

If you ever see me getting beaten by the police, put down the video camera and come help me.

I think Desperate Housewives is a pretty good show, I watch it, I like it and I don't love reality tv that much. I do watch some, I've got three daughters so we'll watch the good stuff, the fun stuff.

I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.

Some people put us down. But I still haven't heard of any Americans trying to swim across the border into Mexico!

And he nipped them in the bud, right at the end

Money doesn't talk, it swears.

When life gets you down, make a comforter!

I think my securities far outweigh my insecurities. I am not nearly as afraid of myself and my imagination as I used to be.

That's what makes it so fun to be on a team. You're sitting at your house, thinking up this wild, crazy stuff as to how it's going to go, and the other guys are sitting at their houses doing the same thing.

Jesus ruined every funeral he attended including his own.

No one will need more than 637Kb of memory for a personal computer

Old is always fifteen years from now.

Of course, uh, the universe is gradually slowing down and, uh, will eventually collapse inwardly on itself, according to the laws of entropy when all it's thermal and mechanical functions fail, thus rendering all human endeavors ultimately pointless. Just to put the gig in some sort of context.

What happens to the hole when the cheese is gone?

We used to sleep five to a bed and three of them used to wet the bed. I learnt to swim before I could walk.

Many foxes grow gray but few grow good.

Confound these ancestors... They've stolen our best ideas!

Matt and I have set a date. Matt and I will tie the knot New Years Day in the town of Swampscott, Massachusetts. Reserve your hotel rooms now. I will be having a gay marriage.

It's in the act of having to do things that you don't want to that you learn something about moving past the self. Past the ego.