Fun Quotes - Page 227

I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.

Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats; then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.

In the fight between you and the world, back the world.

Do you think George Bush actually knows who Gordon Brown is? He probably just thinks Tony Blair's put on weight and had a mild stroke.

My dad is one of the funniest people I know. He's the sort of man who can make you laugh just by reading out of a telephone directory... He's a spastic.

They've bought out a condom now for people with premature ejaculation and they've put an anesthetic in the lining that makes you numb and you can last for longer. Or, you can wear it inside out and you don't have to wake anybody up!

To do is to be. -Descartes To be is to do. - Voltaire Do be do be do.

You don't run 26 miles at five minutes a mile on good looks and a secret recipe.

The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe.

Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.

When you become an adult you just make that transition and you're right... it's fun and exciting to be an adult and exciting to have independence, but once you're out from under the cover of your family's protection and love, you sort of have to take a step back and come to terms with the fact that you won't really ever have that again in the same way. You'll never be a kid again.

It's hard to go with a trend. As soon as it's out, everyone picks it up. It's important to stay true to yourself. Have fun with fashion instead of letting it dictate.

It is my theory you can't get rid of fat. All you can do is move it around, like furniture.

Learn to trust yourself. That's very vital. ... Just stand with yourself. Remember, in his lifetime, Van Gogh sold only two paintings. I personally sold even fewer.

At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote.

I used to be scared of pretty girls, until one confessed they're just as scared of me.

Cooking is so popular today because it's the perfect mix of food and fun.

I do like Britney Spears. I think she's cute. I think she's fun. And I like her records. You know, I'm not a pop snob whatsoever. I think she makes great pop records.

Privacy is a function of liberty.

All people are paradoxical. No one is easily reducible, so I like characters who have contradictory impulses or shades of ambiguity. It's fun, and it's fun because it's hard.

Funerals and weddings were commonplace, and nothing could have been so interesting to them as the coming of the end of the world ... unless it had been a first-class circus.

I think that women just have a primeval instinct to make soup, which they will try to foist on anybody who looks like a likely candidate.

The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools.

If I wanted to connect like I do now, I'd have to write 500,000 letters, get 500,000 stamps, send them out and wait for them all to come back. This stuff is instantaneous. I can see if someone is having a bad day and send them a smiley face and have an effect on them. It's fun, but it's also a very powerful thing.

Sometimes I get a little manic and you can't stop me. I'm all over the place. I have fun