Fun Quotes - Page 343

People seem to enjoy things more when they know a lot of other people have been left out of the pleasure.

It's all a terrible tragedy. And yet, in it's details, it's great fun. And - apart from the tragedy - I've never felt happier or better in my life than in those days in Belgium.

I'm as poor as a church mouse, that's just had an enormous tax bill on the very day his wife ran off with another mouse, taking all the cheese.

I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself.

If you've seen one redwood, you've seen them all.

Throwing people out of a game is like learning to ride a bicycle--once you get the hang of it, it can be a lot of fun.

I asked him "Who said you could fool around with my wife" he said everybody.

One day as I came home early, I saw a man jogging naked. I said to the guy, 'Hey, buddy, why are you doing that?' He said, 'Because you came home early.'

My mother used to rock me - and she used big rocks.

Me and my dad used to play tag, he'd drive!

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push.

I met the surgeon general - he offered me a cigarette.

I went to see my doctor... Doctor Vidi-boom-ba. Yeah...I told him once, "Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me?" He said, "I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect."

I just don't see myself as a travel writer. I can't. I don't.

Carpe per diem - seize the check.

We have a president for whom English is a second language. He's like 'We have to get rid of dictators,' but he's pretty much one himself.

People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House.

Umm thanks for the phone. I think I already broke it.

The success of any trap lies in its fundamental simplicity. The reverse trap by the nature of its single complication must be swift and simpler still.

I cut my own hair. I got sick of barbers because they talk too much. And too much of their talk was about my hair coming out.

You can't get too much winter in the winter.

Pick a dysfunction and it's a family problem.

I guess the only thing to do now is meet his parents. I'm sure they're decent people. I mean they gotta be if they named their son Gaylord Focker.

We must intertwine business and ethics in a very fundamental way.

Sometimes two people stay together for the sake of the kids - two kids who sat under a full moon and pledged to be forever true.