Fun Quotes - Page 212

One day the "Don't Knows" will get in and then where will we be?

Abandon anything about your life and habits that might be holding you back. Learn to create your own opportunities. Know that there is no finish line; fortune favors action. Race balls-out toward the extraordinary life that you’ve always dreamed of, or still haven’t had time to dream up. And prepare to have a hell of a lot of fun along the way.

One time we played a concert in Antwerp, Belgium. At least I thought it was Antwerp, Belgium. Turns out it was a Stop 'n Shop in Wisconsin somewhere, but it was fun man.

It has been a long time since I believed in Reality. I prefer the loveliness and the terror of my subjective experiences to those coldly scientific explanations which in the long run turn out to be no more real, and far less fun, than my own fantasies and musings.

Now I've wrestled alotta countries!

Every time you turn on your new car, you're turning on 20 microprocessors. Every time you use an ATM, you're using a computer. Every time I use a settop box or game machine, I'm using a computer. The only computer you don't know how to work is your Microsoft computer, right?

I commend you on all you've done for PETA, wrestling the one-eyed trouser snake with your bare hands, gently cuddling it in your arms, and nurturing it back to health.

Everybody blames the Jews for killing Christ, and the Jews try to pass it off on the Romans. I'm one of the few people who believes it was the blacks.

Acting is fun. Don't let that get around.

Can she sing? She's practically a Florence Nightingale.

In two words, impossible.

The funny thing about having all this so-called success is that behind it is a certain horrible emptiness.

I'm going to speak my mind because I have nothing to lose.

Inner child, what do you suggest? 'I WANT A TREEHOUSE!' Anything else to add? 'FARTY NOISE UNDER THE ARM!'

Life is always walking up to us and saying, "Come on in, the living's fine," and what do we do? Back off and take its picture.

Japan is our rival, not our enemy. Japan is a competitor... Bashing a Toyota won't make a better car.

I went to look for a used car and found my wife's dress in the back seat.

My wife isn't very bright. The other day she was at the store, and just as she was heading for our car, someone stole it! I said, "Did you see the guy that did it?" She said, "No, but I got the license plate."

Last week I told my psychiatrist, 'I keep thinking about suicide', and he told me from now I have to pay in advance.

Authors like cats because they are such quiet, lovable, wise creatures, and cats like authors for the same reasons.

The best birthdays of all are those that haven't arrived yet.

New York has always been going to hell but somehow it never gets there.

Some rhyme a neebor's name to lash; Some rhyme (vain thought!) for needfu' cash; Some rhyme to court the countra clash, An' raise a din; For me, an aim I never fash; I rhyme for fun.

Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.

Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly.