Fun Quotes - Page 167

Indeed, through fundamental advances in bionics in this century, we will set the technological foundation for an enhanced human experience, and we will end disability.

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near.

Money, if it does not bring you happiness, will at least help you be miserable in comfort.

When you have an efficient government, you have a dictatorship.

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too.

The common argument that crime is caused by poverty is a kind of slander on the poor.

I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book . . . The recipes were to be the routine ones: how to make dry toast, instant coffee, hearts of lettuce and brownies. But as an added attraction, at no extra charge, my idea was to put a fried egg on the cover. I think a lot of people who hate literature but love fried eggs would buy it if the price was right.

Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go somewhere and read the book, I might have a little fun.

When I'm singing at the piano and I'm having a really nice fun day singing, if I have a headache, the headache will immediately dissipate just the notes going through my head.

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.

I have opinions of my own - strong opinions - but I don't always agree with them.

Life is a near-death experience.

I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.

A German singer! I should as soon expect to get pleasure from the neighing of my horse.

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.

As the plane lands in Glasgow airport, passengers are reminded to set their watch back, 25 years.

The fundamental qualities for good execution of a plan is first; intelligence; then discernment and judgment, which enable one to recognize the best method as to attain it; the singleness of purpose; and, lastly, . . . stubborn will.

Anybody with a sense of humor is going to put on my album and laugh from beginning to end.

Somewhere deep down there's a decent man in me, he just can't be found.

For an actress to be a success, she must have the face of Venus, the brains of a Minerva, the grace of Terpsichore, the memory of a Macaulay, the figure of Juno, and the hide of a rhinoceros.

A man is not paid for having a head and hands, but for using them.

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me.

The achievement of high universal literacy is the key to all other fundamental improvements in American education.