Fun Quotes - Page 317

Marriage is the death of hope.

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an ever smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose

Sunshine is my quest.

Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.

Our national drug is alcohol. We tend to regard the use of any other drug with special horror.

What you've got here is really a case of journalists making fun of people who believe in God and the devil.

Never slap a man who is chewing tobacco.

Golf is good for the soul. You get so mad at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.

The best way to make a fire with two sticks is to make sure one of them is a match.

Those Russians. They did worse things when they entered Pomerania than we ever did in Russia.

Most of my life I have done what I wanted to do. I have had fun on the job.

We are all here on earth to help others.

Effort and work can become fun when you establish specific desirable goals.

I like children - fried.

Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.

I love children. They're so much fun and I would have a blast spoiling them.

We have to build movements in the face of trade retaliation on the basis of people's democratic rights, on the basis of an ancient heritage of collective innovation. We work from the grassroots all the way to the national government and the World Trade Organization. It basically means being very multidimensional in our campaigns. And that is where part of the fun is. It involves both resistance and creativity. It involves constructive action, while at the same time saying "no."

Furthermore, unlike Man's other great good friend the horse, the cat is no sweating serf of Man. The only labor she condescends to perform is to catch mice and rats, and that's fun.

Can you imagine wot it was like. All the girls gettin' luvly figgers and me stayin' flat as a pancake? It was no fun, I tell you.

Went to the paper shop - it had blown away.

I bought some HP sauce the other day. It's costing me 6p a month for the next 2 years.

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

A man walks into doctor's office. "What seems to be the problem?" asks the doc. "It's ... um ... well ... I have five penises." replies the man. "Blimey!" says the doctor, "How do your trousers fit?" "Like a glove."

It was dog food. Beef livers with onions in a can. You open it up and it looks like vomit.

The Japanese have become so smitten with the Western condiment - its texture as silky as a kimono, its tang as understated as the tang of Zen - that today they have a word for mayonnaise junkie: mayora.