Fun Quotes - Page 294

An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.

The vice-president of an advertising agency is a bit of executive fungus that forms on a desk that has been exposed to conference.

An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.

Does anyone find it ironic how a program aimed at old people is called 'Countdown'?

I watched the footage of Saddam being executed, and it really made me think...is there nothing on the internet that I won't masturbate to?

Because running fast is more fun than running slow.

It has been said that a bride's attitude towards her betrothed can be summed up in three words: Aisle. Alter. Hymn.

You know it's love when you want to give joy and damn the consequences.

There were two Irishmen eating sandwiches in a pub and the landlord said: "You can't eat your own food in here." So they swapped sandwiches.

When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough.

I skate for the fans. It's not as fun without them there supporting me. I get energy from them and I want to skate well for them. They relax me. They make me happy when I skate for them. I feel the Americans like me more and more each time I tour.

A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name.

There was confusion since I stood here 35 years ago.

Dalmatians are not only superior to other dogs, they are like all dogs, infinitely less stupid than men.

If our previous analyses are correct, they all point to the same conclusion, that metaphysical adventures are doomed to fail when their authors substitute the fundamental concepts of any particular science for those of metaphysics.

It was my mom who told me, "Ernie, if you make even one person happy with your smile or a funny thing you did every day, you'll have accomplished a great deal." And that's all I've ever tried to do.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

I caught my wife in bed with another man and I was crushed. So I said, "Get off of me, you two!"

Blondes do have more fun. But sometimes I look in the mirror and still feel like I'm wearing a wig.

And all those who look down on me I'm tearing down your balcony.

Working within the constraints of a problem is part of the fun and challenge of design.

I don't understand the sizes anymore. There's a size zero, which I didn't even know that they had. It must stand for: 'Ohhh my God, you're thin.'

It's our challenges and obstacles that give us layers of depth and make us interesting. Are they fun when they happen? No. But they are what make us unique.

It must be around forty, when you're "over the hill." I don't even know what that means and why it's a bad thing. When I go hiking and I get over the hill, that means I'm past the hard part and there's a snack in my future. That's a good thing as far as I'm concerned.

People who get implants, it's so depressing, you know... People - I don't know. The route of that, you know, maybe they want more love or attention, or what it is, but they always go for the most obvious place, you know? Here... Well if you really want more attention, why not get them in your eyes? And then move your eyes down to where your nipples used to be, put your breasts up on your head, everybody will pay attention!