Fun Quotes - Page 287

Italians come to ruin most generally in three ways, women, gambling, and farming. My family chose the slowest one.

An evangelizer must never look like someone who has just come back from a funeral.

When I go to the beach, my grandchildren try to make words out of the veins in my legs. That's why I still take the pill; I don't want any more grandchildren.

Modernist discourse [...] incorporates semantic devices - such as the labeling of theism as 'religion' and naturalism as 'science' - that work to prevent a dangerous debate over fundamental assumptions from breaking out in the open.

It's easier to find a traveling companion than to get rid of one.

Noel Coward said work is more fun than fun, but then he didn't work in the Bird's Eye factory packing frozen fish fingers nine hours a day, did he?

Only one way to cover a story like this, and make that a double, bartender, please.

It is easy to understand why the cat has eclipsed the dog as modern America's favorite pet. People like pets to possess the same qualities they do. Cats are irresponsible and recognize no authority, yet are completely dependent on others for their material needs. Cats cannot be made to do anything useful. Cats are mean for the fun of it. In fact, cats possess so many of the same qualities as people that it is often hard to tell the people and the cats apart.

Never wear anything that panics the cat.

Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.

There can be nothing more frequent than an occasional drink.

A poet can survive everything but a misprint.

Whenever cannibals are on the brink of starvation, Heaven, in its infinite mercy, sends them a fat missionary.

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive.

To disagree with three-fourths of the British public is one of the first requisites of sanity.

Thirty-five is a very attractive age. London society is full of women of the very highest birth who have, of their own free choice, remained thirty-five for years.

I see when men love women. They give them but a little of their lives. But women when they love give everything.

If you do not feel yourself growing in your work and your life broadening and deepening, if your task is not a perpetual tonic to you, you have not found your place.

The best thing about giving of ourselves is that what we get is always better than what we give. The reaction is greater than the action.

Bankers are just like anybody else, only richer

Senescence begins And middle-age ends The day your descendants Outnumber your friends

Promises are like crying babies in a theater, they should be carried out at once.

There is nothing safe about sex. There never will be.

It makes little difference how many university courses or degrees a person may own. If he cannot use words to move an idea from one point to another, his education is incomplete.

I couldn't have invented crisps. ... I don't really want to be known as the man who invented crisps. ... I invented apples. ... I invented pandas, and caps. I invented soil.