Fun Quotes - Page 273

Friendship is far more tragic than love. It lasts longer.

Hatred is blind, as well as love.

The fellow who says he'll meet you halfway usually thinks he's standing on the dividing line.

It's much easier for me to make major life, multi-million dollar decisions, than it is to decide on a carpet for my front porch. That's the truth.

A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.

Trousers can never be too tight. You have to go through a couple of days of pain, then everything stretches out.

Life is more fun when you open your mouth.

New York is not Mecca. It just smells like it.

I think flirting is great fun. It doesn't mean that anything's going to come of it but it's fun to be told that you're hot and that your tits look great. You all get your pens out.

It's a funny thing that people are always ready to admit it if they've no talent for drawing or music, whereas everyone imagines that they themselves are capable of true love, which is a talent like any other, only far more rare.

And there's the man in the green flag!

The Lybian army is capable of destroying America and breaking its nose.

Love cannot remain by itself - it has no meaning. Love has to be put into action, and that action is service. Whatever form we are, able or disabled, rich or poor, it is not how much we do, but how much love we put in the doing; a lifelong sharing of love with others.

If we lose this war, I'll just start another in my wife's name.

People think I'm into sports because I'm a man. But I'm not into sports. I like Gatorade, but that's about as far as it goes. By the way, you don't have to be sweaty and play basketball to enjoy Gatorade. You can just be a thirsty dude. Gatorade forgets about this demographic!

Kittens play with yarn, they bat it around. What they're really doing is saying, "I can't knit, get this away from me!"

I find that a duck's opinion of me is influenced by whether or not I have bread. A duck loves bread, but he does not have the capability to buy a loaf. That's the biggest joke on the duck ever. If I worked at a convenience store, and a duck came in and stole a loaf of bread, I would let him go. I'd say, "Come back tomorrow, bring your friends!" When I think of a duck's friends, I think of other ducks. But he could have, say, a beaver in tow.

I was on a bus once, it was in the middle of the night, and I had a box of crackers and a can of Easy Cheese. It was dark, and it was a surprise how much cheese I had applied on each cracker. That's why they should have a glow-in-the-dark version of Easy Cheese. It's not like the product has any integrity to begin with. If you buy a room-temperature cheese that you squeeze out of a can, you probably won't get mad because it glows in the dark too.

I went to the park and saw this kid flying a kite. The kid was really excited. I don't know why, that's what they're supposed to do. Now if he had had a chair on the other end of that string, I would have been impressed.

People teach their dogs to sit; it's a trick. I've been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky.

They say the recipe for Sprite is lemon and lime. I tried to make it at home. There's more to it than that.

Mr. Pibb is a poor imitation of Dr. Pepper. Dude didn't even get his degree.

I don't know if you've ever fallen asleep whilst eating a plate of cauliflower, and then woken up, and thought you were in the clouds.

Memories are doing funny things to us.

Fundamentals are the building blocks of fun.