Fun Quotes - Page 190

War is a poor chisel to carve out tomorrow.

If you go to bed at night and think about your day and you haven't laughed very much, then you must jump out of bed and go do something fun.

The humorist who invented trial by jury played a colossal practical joke upon the world, but since we have the system we ought to try and respect it. A thing which is not thoroughly easy to do, when we reflect that by command of the law a criminal juror must be an intellectual vacuum, attached to a melting heart and perfectly macaronian bowels of compassion.

A cat is more intelligent than people believe, and can be taught any crime.

He had the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.

Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff.

I'm not completely sure we aren't all living in a hallucination now.

For my next trick I will make everyone understand me.

If I had no sense of humor I should long ago have committed suicide.

A man in the house is worth two in the street.

It's hard to be funny when you have to be clean.

Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you.

Realizing that life is precious the natural tendency is to trample on it, like laughing at a funeral.

Music is only love looking for words.

With improv, it's a combination of listening and not trying to be funny.

Friday night was the night most people thought they were supposed to have fun. Trouble was most people didn't know what fun was or how to have it, so things usually ended up pretty ugly.

I think people should have fun. And don't get so down on yourself. Enjoy life and be the best person you can be.

I mean some doctor told me I had six months to live and I went to their funeral.

My name is "A Pimp named Slickback" Wait... A Pimp?? ... Named Slickback. Yes, please say the whole thing if you would. Yes, that includs the "A Pimp Named" part. Yes Tom, everytime.

The capitalist mode of production and accumulation, and therefore capitalist private property, have for their fundamental condition the annihilation of self-earned private property: in other words, the expropriation of the labourer.

Every dog has it's day, unless he loses his tail, then he has a weakend.

Time is like money, the less we have of it to spare the further we make it go.

There’s something kind of rewarding about playing the hurricane. My job is to create drama and chaos and there’s a lot of fun to be had doing that.

I am a believer in the fundamental doctrines of Christianity.

Nice people don't necessarily fall in love with nice people.