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Mark Twain Quotes - Page 55

All Quotes 4th Of July Accomplishment Achievement Addiction Adventure Adversity Age Aging Alcohol Ambition Anxiety Appearance Appreciation Arguing Army Arrogance Art Atheism Atheist Attitude Authority Balance Beauty Beer Being Alone Belief Bible Bitterness Blame Bliss Bravery Business Censorship Challenges Change Character Charity Chastity Children Christianity Church Coffee College Comedy Communication Community Compassion Confidence Conflict Conscience Conservatism Constitution Cooking Country Courage Crime Criticism Dance Dancing Darkness Death Deception Defeat Democracy Design Desire Determination Devil Disappointment Diversity Divorce Doubt Drinking Duty Dying Earth Education Effort Encouragement Energy Enthusiasm Envy Epic Ethics Evidence Evil Exercise Experience Failing Failure Family Fashion Fear Feelings Fighting Finding Yourself Fitness Flattery Focus Food Forgiveness Free Speech Freedom Friends Friendship Fun Funeral Funny Future Genius Getting Older Giving Giving Up God Gold Good Times Gossip Grace Graduation Gratitude Greatness Greed Grief Grieving Growing Up Growth Happiness Happy Hard Times Hard Work Hate Healing Health Heart Heaven Hell Hilarious Hills Hinduism History Holiday Home Honesty Honor House Human Nature Humanity Humility Hunger Hunting Hurt Hypocrisy Ignorance Imagination Independence Individuality Innovation Insanity Inspiration Inspirational Inspiring Integrity Intelligence Journey Joy Judgement Judging Judgment Justice Kindness Knowledge Labor Language Laughter Law Of Attraction Leadership Learning Liars Liberty Life Life And Death Literature Loneliness Losing Loss Love Loyalty Luck Lying Madness Manners Marriage Math Memorial Day Memories Military Moderation Modesty Mom Monarchy Money Moon Morality Morning Motivation Motivational Mountain Music Nature New Year Office Opportunity Optimism Pain Parenting Passion Past Patriotism Peace Perception Perfection Perseverance Personality Philosophy Planning Pleasure Politics Positive Positive Thinking Positivity Poverty Power Praise Prayer Preaching Prejudice Pride Privacy Profanity Progress Prophecy Prosperity Purpose Quality Rain Reading Reading Books Reality Recovery Regret Religion Reputation Respect Responsibility Revolution Risk Running Sad Sadness Sailing Salvation Sanity Sarcasm Satan School Science Self Esteem Seven Shame Silence Simplicity Sin Skins Sleep Smoking Society Solitude Son Sorrow Soul Sports Spring Strength Struggle Study Stupidity Style Success Suffering Summer Sunday Sunshine Swimming Talent Taxes Teaching Temperance Temptation Time Today Trade Tradition Tragedy Training Travel Trust Truth Twins Undertaker Vacation Values Violence Virtue Vision Vocation Voting Waiting War Water Wealth Whiskey Wife Wine Winning Winter Wisdom Wit Work Worry Worship Writing Youth

My father was a Saint Bernard, my mother was a Collie, but I am a Presbyterian.

My father was a Saint Bernard, my mother was a Collie, but I am a Presbyterian.

Mother, Dog, Father

A person that started in to carry a cat home by the tail was gitting knowledge that was always going to be useful to him, and warn't ever going to grow dim or doubtful.

Home, Cat, Tails

Mark Twain (1980). “The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, Tom Sawyer Abroad, and Tom Sawyer, Detective”, p.316, Univ of California Press

There's plenty of boys that will come hankering and gruvvelling around when you've got an apple, and beg the core off you; but when they're got one, and you beg for the core, and remind them how you give them a core one time, they take a mouth at you, and say thank you 'most to death, but there ain't a-going to be no core.

Boys, Apples, Giving

The reason why truth is so much stranger than fiction is that there is no requirement for it to be consistent.

Fiction, Requirements, Reason Why

There's always a hole in theories somewhere if you look close enough.

Looks, Enough, Holes

We need not worry so much about what man descends from; it's what he descends to that shames the human race.

Success, Men, Race

It is our nature to conform; it is a force which not many can successfully resist. What is its seat? The inborn requirement of self-approval.

Self, Society, Requirements

Mark Twain (2000). “The Jumping Frog: And 18 Other Stories”, p.85, Book Tree

I have tried getting up early, and I have tried getting up late-and the latter agrees with me best.

Up Early, Latter, Late

Mark Twain (1981). “Early Tales & Sketches, Vol. 2: 1864 -1865”, p.24, Univ of California Press

His ignorance covers the world like a blanket, and there's scarcely a hole in it anywhere.

Sarcastic, Ignorance, Intelligence

[Do you worry unnecessarily about the future? Remember most fears are just False Evidence Appearing Real. Don't let unfounded fears rob you of the joys of life or you too will say...] There has been much tragedy in my life; [and] at least half of it actually happened.

Real, Worry, Joy

My faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened.

Birthday, Growing Up, Age And Youth

Mark Twain (2010). “Mark Twain's Own Autobiography: The Chapters from the North American Review”, p.113, Univ of Wisconsin Press

I'm glad I did it, partly because it was worth it, but mostly because I shall never have to do it again.

Inspirational, Achievement, Glad

Mark Twain (2014). “Mark Twain on Common Sense: Timeless Advice and Words of Wisdom from America's Most-Revered Humorist”, p.41, Skyhorse Publishing, Inc.

If the metrics you are looking at aren't useful in optimizing your strategy - stop looking at them.

Metrics, Strategy, Ifs

Happiness ain't a thing in itself -it's only a contrast with something that ain't pleasant. And so, as soon as the novelty is over and the force of the contrast dulled, it ain't happiness any longer, and you have to get something fresh.

Happiness, Laughter, Joy

For England must not fall: it would mean an inundation of Russian & German political degradations which would envelop the globe & steep it in a sort of Middle-Age night & slaverly which would last till Christ comes again - which I hope he will not do; he made trouble enough before.

Fall, Mean, Night

Mark Twain, William Dean Howells (1960). “Mark Twain-Howells letters: the correspondence of Samuel L. Clemens and William D. Howells, 1872-1910”, Belknap Press

After my marriage she edited everything I wrote. And what is more, she not only edited my works, she edited me.

Edited

Mark Twain (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Mark Twain (Illustrated)”, p.7494, Delphi Classics

Forget and forgive. This is not difficult when properly understood.

Forgiveness, Forgive And Forget, Forgiving

Mark Twain (2014). “Mark Twain on Common Sense: Timeless Advice and Words of Wisdom from America's Most-Revered Humorist”, p.34, Skyhorse Publishing, Inc.

There is nothing in either savage or civilized history that is more utterly complete, more remorselessly sweeping than the Father of Mercy´s campaign among the Midianites. The official report deals only in masses, all the virgins, all the men, all the babies. all ´creatures that breathe,´ all houses. all cities. It gives you just one vast picture ...as far as the eye can reach, of charred ruins and storm-swept desolation... Would you expect this same conscienceless God, this moral bankrupt, to become a teacher of morals, of gentleness, of meekness, of righteousness, of purity?

Teacher, Baby, Father

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat.

Inspiration, Cat, Law

I have witnessed and greatly enjoyed the first act of everything which Wagner created, but the effect on me has always been so powerful that one act was quite sufficient; whenever I have witnessed two acts I have gone away physically exhausted; and whenever I have ventured an entire opera the result has been the next thing to suicide.

Funny, Sarcastic, Suicide

Mark Twain (1924). “Mark Twain's Own Autobiography: The Chapters from the North American Review”, p.175, Univ of Wisconsin Press

The reason most people don't go to church is because they've already been.

Christian, People, Church

In all the ages, three-fourths of the support of the great charities has been conscience money.

Support, Age, Charity

Mark Twain (1903). “The $30,000 Bequest and Other Stories”, p.227, Library of Alexandria

A proud man is one who waits for a vacancy in the Trinity.

Men, Waiting, Vacancy

Tea is an affront to lunch and an insult to dinner.

Lunch, Tea, Dinner

My philological studies have satisfied me that a gifted person ought to learn English (barring spelling and pronouncing) in thirty hours, French in thirty days, and German in thirty years. It seems manifest, then, that the latter tongue ought to be trimmed down and repaired. If it is to remain as it is, it ought to be gently and reverently set aside among the dead languages, for only the dead have time to learn it.

German Language, Years, Down And

Mark Twain (2016). “A Tramp Abroad”, p.378, Xist Publishing

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