To me, being brave is an element that is so important with stand-up comedy. It's not essential. There are many comics who were just funny, and that's fine, too. But that's never been what I was trying to do in comedy. I was always trying to do something that involved not pandering to the audience.
We take one group of people and we demonize them. Trying to turn people against our Muslim friend and neighbors.
Death is the monster we all fear, yet with each day, we walk toward it, and can't help doing so; we can't help but walk toward the one thing we're most trying to avoid.
Osama bin Laden put out a new video. The timing of this video has some people upset, three days before we vote. It looks like he's trying to influence the election. And I'll tell you, it's not going to work. Americans know Osama bin Laden does not pick our president. The Supreme Court does.
Dealing w/ Hamas is like dealing w/ a crazy woman who’s trying to kill u – u can only hold her wrists so long before you have to slap her.
Why is Mitt Romney not bragging: 'I covered all these people'? Why can't the Democrats sell the idea, we're trying to make you well? Is that such a hard sale?
Crime stories show us the part of people's lives they try to keep hidden.
I'm not in politics. I'm really not a public figure. But I'm trying to be a little more cognizant of my surroundings.
My wife, trying to be helpful, goes to the grocery store and buys this stuff called soy bacon. Let me tell you something: I know soy beans are good for a lot of things. Let's stay out of the bacon market! It says It looks and tastes like real bacon! No it doesn't! It tastes like somebody bacon-flavored a turd, that's what it tastes like!
Our children are trying to tell us something. And we are not listening.
Problems emerge and some people try to sweep them under the rug.
Kinsey was trying to study sex scientifically, get rid of the overlay of culture and religion.
[Voters] are trying to make up their mind on who has a better plan for the economy, whose presidency would more positively impact my life?
Monica Langley has a great piece in The Wall Street Journal about how they're trying to create different kinds of moments for Donald Trump, as opposed to just him shouting at rallies. They're trying to get him in classrooms, and in churches, and in diners and places where he can make a more personal connection.
If you try to deliver a funny line in a funny way, it comes out as wacky and you ruin the scene.
Video games are engineered now, but the step I am trying to take, no one can engineer.
Most scientists are without exception adorably quirky, and one of the ways of making it more accessible was to try to get readers interested in the person.
I don't want to go and start trying to make jokes in places like India, Tanzania or Iraq. Afghanistan is not a funny place.
People come with expectations and as a bandleader I constantly try to remind the audience to leave its expectations in the lobby.
Anyone who wants to vote probably shouldn't be allowed to vote. Voting is the first step towards zombification - trying to get something without actually working for it.
Agitators, organizers, activists, intellectuals aren't bound by those rules. We're not trying to figure out, how do I thread this particular needle?
I don't just try to be funny.
I'm always trying to find brain food and indulge in knowledge that's gonna be useful.
Still, it's tough trying to combine my acting career with my college career.
We actors can't take the credit. We love to try to claim the credit.
