Night Quotes - Page 329

I remember watching Soulja Boy on YouTube over and over again to prepare for it. For the first one, I was up all night in my kitchen, practicing the dance, because I knew I had to dance with Timberlake and that guy can dance.

The 'Tonight Show' didn't seem like an actual job that you could have. All you remember is you watched Johnny Carson, and you never thought he would retire.

Big news from last night's Republican debate, you guys. It turns out George Bush was actually the smart Texas governor.

I'm so excited. Jay Leno is on the show tonight. He brought some really funny jokes and some great stories. Although I'm a little concerned he also brought his old desk and Kevin Eubanks. I just want Jay to be comfortable, but not too comfortable.

In an interview last night, Rick Perry criticized Mitt Romney for flip-flopping on the issues. Romney said that Perry has no idea what he's talking about. Then he added, 'But he does know what he's talking about.'

Yesterday in Florida, President Obama kissed a woman on the cheek after she told him he looks good. Which explains why last night, Michelle made him sleep on Air Mattress One.

Republican Scott Brown lost his bid for Senate in New Hampshire last night, two years after he was voted out as Senator in Massachusetts. When asked what he was planning to do next, he said, 'Are they still looking for a mayor in Toronto?'

The big news is the midterm elections. Last night Republicans picked up a dozen seats in the House to give them their biggest majority since World War II. Or as they put it, 'Time to party like it's 1939!'

This morning my dad called me up and said, 'So, tonight's your last show, huh.' And I said, 'No, Dad, that's someone else.'

Politics is pop. Our job as comedians - especially me, as a late-night talk show, which is a broader audience - is to amplify what we think America is thinking.

Jim Gilmore was the only GOP candidate not invited to the Republican debates tonight, but I saw that he actually planned to live-tweet it. When he heard that, Jeb Bush was like 'Can I do that? I don't want to be here!'

President Obama is getting a new limousine that will have advanced night-vision capabilities. The technology even has a cool name ... headlights.

People ask me, Jimmy, howd you get here tonight. Lets just say it involved a two-hour make-out session with Elaine Stritch. It got pretty heavy actually, I almost had to host.

We have first lady Michelle Obama on the show tonight. As you'd expect, security's been pretty tight. On my way in I got five pat-downs, and that was just from Joe Biden.

Last night when I was commenting on the FBI and the CIA, the sound went off for 27 minutes. I should have known better.

After a gig I always head back to the hotel, remembering granny's words of wisdom. I cancel the late-night pizza and watch the Jonathan Ross show instead.

Liverpool will be without Kvarme tonight - he's illegible.

The night I was born, Lord I swear the moon turned a fire red.

The imaginative young vagabond quickly loses the social instincts that help to make life bearable for other men. Always he hears voices calling in the night from far-away places where blue waters lap strange shores. He hears birds singing and crickets chirping a luring roundelay. He sees the moon, yellow ghost of a dead planet, haunting the earth.

The winter passes and the warm winds of May made me long to wander again. The whistling of a locomotive on a still night had a lure, unexplainable, yet strong, like the light which leads a moth to destruction.

The innovations are changing now, drastically. I remember coming to Toronto from Vancouver, and on any given night in the '70s, '80s and early '90s, everything was closed at ten o'clock. There was no drinking on Sundays. Unless you stayed at a hotel, then you could get a drink.

Every player that plays for any organization, having great fans on your side every night is a great thing.

Charisma's good every night. Something special is always about to happen. You've got to believe it.

It's all we ever wantedAnd all we'll ever needAnd now it's slipping through our fingersFaster than the speed of night.

Don't be afraid to borrow if someone else has said it well. Winston Churchill said, The truth is incontrovertible. Malice may attack it and ignorance may deride it, but in the end, there it is. That's so well said. You could stay up all night and not think of that.